I want a 3G iPhone. Sort of. Not really. But yeah.

Because it's pretty and has good web browsing capabilities and it will synch with my Mac and let me enter stuff on a QWERTY keypad instead of a number keypad, and maybe it will do other neat things that Uncle Steve hasn't announced yet, too.

But Amy Gahran makes a good point: the iPhone is for content consumers, not content creators. You can't get an external keyboard for it, the camera quality is too low, and you can't take or edit video. Or COPY AND PASTE for that matter (jeez, Apple. Seriously). I want to blog and broadcast on the go. It's critical. Sort of.

Amy writes...

... In other words, the new iPhone still won’t be as good a product as Nokia’s N95 already is — at least not as far as journalists and mobloggers are concerned.

Nevertheless, I might soon end up settling for an iPhone — unless Nokia pulls its US service act together damn quick. (Specifically, before the new iPhone goes on sale in the US.)

Why? Because the new iPhone might be barely good enough for much of what I need a mobile device to do. More importantly, Apple has proven, through its service practices, that it stands behind its products and cares about customers’ experience after they buy. Apple understands and respects that users of high-end phones run their lives on those devices, and thus cannot tolerate being without them for more than a few days at a time.

Meanwhile Nokia’s dearth of US local service centers, requirement that customers ship damaged or dead phones to Nokia at their own expense, and warranty that allows Nokia up to 30 days to return a phone — plus its risky, clunky, PC-only firmware update process — convey the message that Nokia doesn’t really care much about its US customers. (At least, not after they fork over $500-$700 for an N-Series phone.)

I'd add that the keypad on the N95 is a critical problem, too. While the ability use bluetooth keyboards is excellent, a phone's native keyboard needs to be decent, too. I refused to blog, or even Twitter, from a number keypad. Not when I've been using the Treo's QWERTY for 2 years.

Oh wheeeere, oh wheeeeere is my perfect phone?

your words are so strong

looking out at it all with blender
Originally uploaded by donmuerto

so, sunday i went to a party with my friends in san francisco. i'm enjoying myself. hanging with people i love. feeling that this life is good.

we're at the party because it's bay to breakers. outside is a crazy secene. at foam's place, we're up above the spectacle, but not so far away that we don't feel part of what's going on.

in the midst of the chaos, golddust (below, on the right) asks me:

"so, is that the phone you stole?"

don't laugh. it's true!

after the mass of humanity had long passed the first party. i'm out at another party with people DRESSED AS TREES

and TWO DIFFERENT people there ask me:

"is that the phone you stole?"

and these are my friends. people i love and care for. people who love me. and they've never met you but they believe you.

it's unfair. you're the one with better words, and they stuck.

Before he outs me...

Dear Internetz,

For the record, I don't really hate Mark Resch.

Yes, he did steal my phone...

...but my Treo doesn't have a SIM card, so I can't make the phone work for me the way it's working for him. I wasn't sure if I was gonna take the Nokia offer for this reason, and he encouraged me to get it anyway.

But that still doesn't change the fact that I'm stuck with a lame phone and the guy in the next cubicle over has an awesome new phone that arrived with my name on it and was taken when I wasn't looking.

Just sayin' is all.

Love,
Sarah

p.s. I'm only admitting this because Mark just posted a magical movie he shot of little kids playing with a parachute right after I had a series of related epiphanies at the ocean last night, and it's making me momentarily weak in my resolve to be a noisy whiny greedy brat. Don't worry. It will pass.

kids and a parachute

last night, you wrote these words:

sarahdopp: Before I walk away, you should know that the waves are moving like that nylon parachute you stood around in gym class and made ripples with

and today i saw a group of kids doing exactly that.

your words. my picture.

do you want me to tell them everything?

dear ms. dopp:

it has come to our attention that you continue to insist that a fabricated version of events regarding your gift to us of our nokia n95 is something resembling the truth. if you do not stop, i will be forced to tell the world everything.

mark

One side of the story?

You say that as though there's another side of the story. So far I haven't heard one. You stole my phone. There's not much else to it.

Oh, or do you mean the magical rendition in which you open the package that belongs to me and suddenly everything inside it belongs to you, through no act of your own?

Yeah... I'm sure they'll go for that story.

nokia only found out because you TOLD them

dear tattle-tale,

yes, you. snitcher.

the only way nokia ever found out about the fact that you gave me the phone was that you sent them an email last monday. it was a very accusatory email. and you only said your side of the story. that's not really fair, is it?

my feelings are hurt. but i'll get over it.

mark

The Nokia People Found Out About You

And they think this is a nice, happy, creative blog that I made to help them market their dear sweet phone.

Dear Nokia,

This isn't a game.

He really stole my phone.

Can you send me another one please?

Thanks,
Sarah


And dearest dear dear Mark,

Give me my freaking phone back.

Thanks,
Sarah

hey, that's my video function you're using!

melissa self portrait squinched
Originally uploaded by markresch

My friend Melissa and I are making faces at you in this picture cuz you're using something that's not yours.

I was at the ocean tonight and it was amazingly gorgeous. I wanted to share it with the world. But my phone doesn't have a camera that could capture it. I wanted to take a video of the deep blue waves under the pink sky, and I had no way of dong it. Why? Because my camera phone was too busy being in the East Bay, taking quiet boring movies of sweaty japanese fountains.

Something is wrong with this picture. And I think it's the location of the phone.

I hope you don't overheat and die in this weather this weekend, cuz then I might never get my phone back.

~Sarah

what it's like here this evening

96 degrees in the shade
Originally uploaded by markresch

it's hot here tonight sarah. you're not here, but i can show you what it's like. i can see all the way down to the bay. there's no humidity in the air...no fog, no haze. so i made this little video. and you can see what kind of day it is here.

i can use a camera to show you, just like you use words to show me.

thanks again,

mark

i love that bridge

sarah,

do you know what's really wrong with the picture of the bay bridge? no not the fact that i was driving. the problem was that the windshield was dirty. there's some serious resolution on this thing.

i'm thinking about figuring out how to make a tripod for it. so i can take perfect shots.

Put the phone down and drive!

05142008046
Originally uploaded by markresch

I found this in your flickr feed.

You know, you really shouldn't take pictures while driving. Somebody might get hurt.

Wow. You must be really irresponsible, and probably can't be trusted with a nice phone.

I think you should give it back to me now. For the safety of yourself and others.

kthxbai.

everyone else feels the love

self portrait nick
Originally uploaded by markresch

sarah,

for your information, lukas's picture was a self-portrait. i did not take that photo of him. he took it himself. why? because he was delighted with the phone.

as an experiment, i handed the phone to nick, who made his own self-portrait. i'd say it's an outstanding likeness (but i'd probably crop it a bit so that the emphasis and attention is all on him). just like lukie's pic, you can see that he's obviously happy to use the phone, too.

if this were just yours, you probably wouldn't share with everyone. but because you were so generous with me, i feel like i can share my joy with the whole world.

don't worry, be happy!

Proof that the phone is mine...

Switch Orientation
Originally uploaded by christophercarfi

It has a "Switch Orientation" option that is currently set to "Open."

I have a "Switch Orientation" option that is currently set to "Open," too.

I submit this evidence as undeniable proof that the phone belongs to me.

xo,
Sarah

I know what you do.

05132008027
Originally uploaded by markresch

You think you can just tell people how it is, take what you want, and put people in the places you invent for them, don't you?

Newsflash: You aren't the king of the universe.

Please take your finger out of my eye.

kthx.

You leave that poor innocent boy out of this

Just because you snapped a picture of his face as you were promising him creme brulee doesn't mean he gave consent for you to twist his words and use him as a weapon of dopp-destruction.

Lukas doesn't understand what you're doing to me.

If he did, he never would have smiled for you.

Give me back my phone.

Sincerely,
Sarah

p.s. psst! lukas! help me out here! steal it from his bag and mail it to me, okay?

it makes lukas happy

05132008017
Originally uploaded by markresch

to: grumpy
from: bouncy
re: think about the children

i just wanted to share with you how much delight and pleasure your gift has brought into the lives of the people around me. just look at that picture. this is the picture of a kid going to school. see his smile? he's happy. why? dad has a cool new phone.

why would you really want to see him cry?

pout if you want

05132008022
Originally uploaded by markresch

dear pouty one,

you can throw your fits, and make your wild extravagant demands for what you think i need to do. but it's not going to be on your desk in the morning. why not? because it's mine now.

and i'm using it! of course it does just what you think a phone might do...calls, messages, texts...but it also has such nice 3g connecty goodness. i've enabled my email. it connects so imapily. in fact, i just sent @chriscarfi a macro shot of my business card. just because he asked for it.

so here's the bottom line: the phone is mine more every minute of the day.

your friend,

more bounce in california

I'm sorry, you misunderstood...

The etching in the back of my Treo 650 says "STEAL THIS PHONE."

Not "STEAL THAT PHONE."

Not "LEAVE THIS PHONE ALONE BUT KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR SOMETHING NICER TO STEAL."

Not "STEAL SARAH'S NEW PHONE."

And certainly not "STEAL MY N95."

My deepest apologies, though. I didn't realize you had misread the writing on the phone. But now I think we've cleared it up, yes?

I expect to see my new phone on my desk by morning.

Thanks,
Sarah

Self-portrait in the Men's Room

I am alive!
Originally uploaded by markresch

this is the very first photo taken by the n95. even before it accessed the network to set the date, i had it take its own picture. isn't it cute? it's all clean and charcoal and shiny and there aren't any scratches or pits or laser etchings about stealing.

and i think i'll keep it this way, because i like this phone, and it likes me.

you don't really care

hard proof that you don't really care
Originally uploaded by markresch

you're right it is a swan. or maybe a shiny object from the future. but not your future. because this phone is from my present. you said it was christmas, after all.

besides, you would never love it the way that i do. i've seen your phone. it's old. it's pitted. logos rubbed off, etched with your true feelings. remember when that one was the one you wanted? when it was all bright and sparkly and new? look what you did to it! you let the instructables get to it and etch "steal this phone" on the back. is that any way to treat a loyal trusty companion? i think not.

i'm only doing this because staying with me is in the best interests of the handset.

Love? Of course I love you.

05132008035
Originally uploaded by markresch

I just don't like you very much right now.

~Sarah

something is missing here

05132008021
Originally uploaded by markresch

i'll tell you what's missing.

l. o. v. e.

i'm not feeling the love. not now. where did it go?

You're a mean one

Dear Grinch,

While I appreciate the false sincerity of your logic, I have to admit that I find this whole thing despicably underhanded. You knew I was out of the office on Monday, and you saw my name on the package. I asked you to open it because I was so excited about my toy that I couldn't wait until Tuesday to hear if it was really as wonderful as I hoped it would be. I trusted you to share in my excitement with me.

And now it's Tuesday, and I don't have a new phone, and you do.

That's not a baby duck in your hands. That's a swan. And someday it's gonna grow up and swim away from home because it doesn't belong to you.

Didn't your mother ever teach you not to steal people's toys?

~Sarah

better to give than receive

dear nessie,

i don't understand what's happened. i did what you said. i opened the package. i found what was inside the package. clearly what came in the package was meant for me. you know it was. c'mon. it's not like you to be selfish. i can't believe that you say you want it back when you didn't even come in to the office to get it. i took it in from the dhl man. i opened it up. it saw me first. you know how baby ducks imprint on the first thing they see? well, it's the same.

don't be bitter because i have a better phone.

me

opening the box

I was dumped out of my box
Originally uploaded by markresch

i couldn't wait to see what was inside the box. there was everything i need. you know,

i am amazed at your generosity. even if it only lasted just for a short time.

my pretty box

My pretty box, originally uploaded by markresch.

i was so happy when you told me to open it.

you said it would be just like christmas.

look what i found inside! a new nokia n95!

this is the package

see? here is the package that arrived from dhl. , originally uploaded by markresch.

here's what came from dhl. the package you told me to open.

If you're Father Christmas then I'm the freakin' Lochness Monster

Dear Mark,

I don't understand why you would steal my present. Isn't Christmas about love and generosity? You already have an iPhone. Why do you need an N95?



I, on the other hand have an outdated, near-broken Treo 650 that takes really really really sad photographs, and I think you should give me my phone back now.

Sincerely,
Sarah

not really so simple

sarah,

look, i was alone in the office monday morning, when a shiny yellow dhl truck pulled up. the driver knocked at the door. he had a package in his hand. i shook it. it rattled a little. i called you and asked you what to do with it.

markresch: i have your package from your dhl

sarahdopp: it's like christmas!

markresch: but more mysterious... it's currently on your desk

sarahdopp: whats it doing on my desk? open it! open it!

so i opened it. and i was wrong. it wasn't a package for you. it was a package for me that was mistakenly sent to you.

so see? you were right!

it is like christmas!

merry christmas to all!

xo

mark

It's really this simple...

Dear Mark,

I want my N95 back.

Sincerely,
Sarah